Mask My Heart
by unionempirex
Summary: Natsume ruined it all. Just like he always do and Mikan is getting tired of it. She had always love him but now, she doubted if she should continue loving someone who treated he like trash. I'm no pro writer so go easy on me. review please
1. He did something he shouldn

Mikan walked in front of his room. She stopped directly in front of the door, raised her hand for a knock but then took it back and keep walking. She stopped again at the end of the corridor, turned back and walked towards the door. Stopping in front of his room again. She raised her hand for another try for a knock. But she freeze. Her heart telling her to knock but her ego saying otherwise. Should she knock?

No! Don't! It's not your fault, Mikan. Natsume was the one that asked for it. Besides, someone should teach him a lesson and what other person deserve it than you?

Mikan, you know that it is your fault at the first place. And only you know what the best thing that you should do now is.

Oh, crap! I know I shouldn't ask for my conscience help.

Nevertheless, she opened the door. Making her way in one-step at a time, she saw Natsume lying on his bed. His blanket covering his body until the length of his neck. Mikan held her breath. Even in his sleep, he still look handsome. The sunlight was beaming through his sliding door onto him, silhouetting his still body.

"Natsume," she muttered under her breath.

Slowly, he opened his eyes and turned hi head towards her.

"What do you want?"

"About yesterday. I want to say sorry. I didn't mean to push you into the water. When I found out that you caught cold, I came here immediately. It was my fault-,"

"You got that right!" he cut in.

Mikan was startled. "What…"

"I guess I forgive you. At least you still got your common sense to apologize."

Her jaw dropped open. "What?"

"You can go now. You know where the door is so you can make your way out." Added Natsume, smiling smugly before closing his eyes to continue his interrupted sleep.

"Now that's rude!" with that, Mikan pulled the pillow he was laying his head on. Natsume bumped his head hard on the spring bed.

He stood straight. "What was that for?"

"Let me guess, err... Your rudeness, selfishness, insolence, egotism and lots more on the list that I can never read because it's so long," she yelled.

"Like I care!" he beamed. "Now, give me the pillow back," he said, gesturing towards the pillow in her arms.

"You want this? Take it!" And she threw the pillow towards the balcony and it fall straight down to the ground below-4 storey down.

"You better get that back," Natsume spoke between clenched teeth.

"Like I care!" she grinned back, making her way out of the room.

"Hey!" suddenly, Natsume yanked her hand hard, pulling her backwards and fell onto his bed.

He pinned her body on the bed with his legs. His left hand pulling her hair and his other hand producing a red blazing fire.

"Do you want to die?" Natsume glared. "You know what, you're worse than any people I've met. I never hated anyone so much like I hated you!"

Over his own noise, Natsume heard something. A voice? No, a cry. And it's coming from Mikan. Her arms were covering her face, trying to block the heat from Natsume's fire. But behind the arms, she was crying. One after another of her tears falling down her cheek.

Natsume stopped. His fire died and his gripped on the girl loosened. With trembling hand, he pulled Mikan's arm from her face.

The moment he saw her tears, it hit him. He'd hurt the girl. He'd hurt Mikan Sakura, the girl he was having a crush on in silent.

"I'm…I'm sorry," he stammered. Natsume tried to reach her hand but she shoved it away hard.

Mikan stood up. Wiping her tears with both hands, she turned and face Natsume.

"I just wanted to say sorry! And this is what I got? You were always mocking me Natsume but I never really mind bout that, but this? I don't know how I managed to fall in love with you!!!" She yelled her hearts out. She should, she'd had it this time.

She turned towards the door but someone was there. Luca looked away from her face. He took a step back as a sign for her exit. Mikan ran out without looking back at the two best friends. She needed someone right now, she need Hotohru although she knew Hotohru wouldn't be so much help.

Luca ran his gaze towards Natsume as soon as Mikan disappeared behind the corridor. Natsume was looking down. His face showing no expression. He just looked at his hands. The hands that just witnessed the end of his love life. Or his supposed to-be love life.

Luca walked in and sat on his bed. He took a deep breath and raised his hands but Natsume caught it right in the air. Luca looked stunned.

"I want to check if you still got your fever," he said.

"Oh," Natsume let go of Luca's hand. "I thought you gonna hit me," he said as Luca placed his palm on his forehead.

"Your fever lessen a bit," he said. Luca stood up, walked towards the sliding door, and closed the curtains. For that few seconds afterwards, silent filled the room.

"You…You heard what she said?" Natsume started.

"Yes. I knew it all along."

Natsume frowned. "You knew?"

"No. I mean I had always notice her feelings towards you. I thought you knew."

"I didn't. I never knew until now. I guess you were right about me always not noticing people's feeling. She was right. I am selfish," he spoke softly.

"No you're not. I knew you more than anyone here did and you're not as selfish as they said. Come on, Natsume. Don't be so hard on yourself," said Luca slapping him on the back.

Natsume laughed. The first laugh in the room that day. "I guess you really do know me."

"Yes," answered Luca. "And I know you well enough to know that you've been keeping your feelings towards Mikan,"

Natsume took a deep breath. "Luca, you love her."

"Yes. But she love you, Natsume."

"Not anymore." There was a hint of regret in his voice as he said those words. "Not anymore, she don't."

Luca nodded. It's possible. But he has to help Natsume. And he'll need Hotohru's help with this.


	2. Hurt

DISCLAIMER- I do not own Gakuen Alice.

Thanks for all the reviews. Actually i really don't have time to do this. my school's Test 1 is next week but i can't wait that long. so enjoy~

* * *

Natsume~

Nothing in this world could describe what he felt right now. He loves Mikan, yes. But even he himself could not explain his terrible attitude towards her. What happened yesterday came flash back to his mind. He'd hurt her, Mikan Sakura. And she cried.

But he couldn't stop himself. He was too angry at her or at himself for being so stupid to fall in love to a girl that doesn't love him-or so he thought.

He saw Tsubasa talking with her again during recess. And after that Luca smiling and chatting with her in class. _Why couldn't it be him? Why is it so hard to admit his_ _feelings towards Mikan?_ He wondered.

"Natsume?" someone tapped him on his back. He snapped to reality.

"What?"

"It's recess time. Come on, let's go."Luca added. "Aren't you hungry?"

Natsume looked throughout his class. He was the only one still sitting as the others are dashing to the café for recess. Even Mikan was nowhere to be seen.

"Nah, don't feel like eating. I'm just going to stay in class."

"Okay." And then, Luca disappeared with the rest to the café.

After a few minutes, Natsume stood up. He walked to Mikan's place by the window, pulled her chair and sat on it. There was a picture of Mikan, Hotaru and their friends glued on the table. Natsume touched a picture of Mikan, tracing his hand to the shape of her face, her hair.

Then, reality hit him.

_God! What am I doing? Get over it, bro. Mikan hates you_. Natsume took a deep breath. He decided that he needs fresh air so Natsume walked to the door but he knocked onto someone. He fell backwards onto the floor-hard.

"Ouch!" Mikan yelled. She rubbed her throbbing head.

"I'm sorry," said Natsume, also touching his head. Usually, at a situation like this, Natsume do not say sorry so Mikan was a little stunned with his it.

"Never mind," she answered without even looking at him. Mikan stood up and walked into the class.

Natsume clenched his fist, calling up his courage to speak but no words came out. _It's now or never, Natsume_. He said to himself

"Mikan…" Natsume called when she was halfway to her place. He assumed Mikan was alone as no one was following behind her so it was the perfect time for him to say sorry.

Mikan turned and faced Natsume.

Natsume took a deep breath. "Mikan, I…"

"Listen, I got work to do so we can talk later." Mikan break in. Then, she sat on her chair and started her work, without even noticing Natsume still standing there.

Natsume was still trying to swallow what just happened to him. Deep down inside, he felt hurt. A question resounding in his head, was there no space for him anymore in Mikan's heart?


End file.
